The Path of Two Lives

From a Confucius quote to a purpose driven life

A few weeks ago, I came across a quote that I had never seen or heard prior. It stopped me in my tracks as being both packed with meaning and comfortably familiar.

“We have two lives, and the second one starts when we realize we only have one.” - Confucius

Somewhere in the aftermath of 2020, I slowly began seeing things a bit different within my own life and the approach that I was taking. Adversity will do that. It was a combination of factors including tragedy, pandemic isolation, and a self-perceived failure. The year that followed, I grappled with a new internal voice and what it was trying to tell me. There was a silent but present sense of invincibility because, in my mind, I had been through the worst and the law of averages would have to swing my way and gain back the losses, both mentally and financially, that were incurred. I was due. I was entitled to some good outcomes.

By the end of 2021, I was worse off than I was in 2020. I had decided to rebuild my brand and career intent which was great. But, I had done so with the expectation that the hard work and sacrifice was behind me. As the 2021 year entered the 4th quarter, I was in trouble. I was not measuring up to the expectations and vision that I had set out to achieve. My confidence in my work, ability, and place in this world hit frightening lows. I had become defeated and succumbed to the idea that all my doubters were right all along. I was a misfit. Pretty dark, huh?

Well, lets brighten things up. When things seem insurmountable, we tend to find the best that humans are designed with in terms of our mind’s ability to endure and adapt. Unfortunately, our minds are quite complex so we need to filter through unwanted and unnecessary mental data to embrace the effective and healthy thoughts. That is exactly what I went through and as we venture into other’s examples of Purpose finding, we will see and hear that they went through the same process.

The gift that I received at the beginning of the year, wasn’t just about second (or 20th) chances. I now see that it was about a true and clear understanding that the second life Confucius suggests has no timetable. It can happen at 16 as easy as it can at 75. For me, I believe the beginning of 2022 was the start of a second life. And, it was gifted with all of the experience from the first.

When I talk about being PurposeFULL, it is within the scenario that someone has discovered a purpose and now must remain steadfast to follow through with that purpose. The four legs of being purpose driven are:

• Having Faith in what your purpose is to be.

• Being Unconditionally devoted to that purpose.

• Having confidence in Leading others to and through your purpose.

• Being aware and intentional about how your Legacy is affected by the purpose.

It took over a year to really commit to the first step of purposeFULL: Faith. Fighting through battered confidence and the early pivots and changes of creating a new model, Faith in my purpose was a tremendous hill to climb. But it finally happened and it happened because I became brave enough to speak up to my family, friends, and colleagues about my vision to embrace my lineage and love for sports to make true change in the generations coming behind me.

When the support and reinforcements came in from those around me, the Unconditional attitude toward the vision ascended to a level that ushered in a new level of confidence and belief. As I began to get out of my own way, I also began to accept that this purpose was not only a well timed vision, but one heavily supported by those around me. This is where I can truly say that life just began to feel a bit different. I maneuvered priorities and focused in on the details. I understood that for the first time in years, I was unconditional about a career move and life change. After 20+ years of work and operating reactively in life, I saw the line between career, family, and life fading. These artificial boundaries we have created eroded and the worlds bled together to create a new normal of balance and understanding.

This is constructed from a life driven by the depth of this quote. I don’t want to miss any moments in my personal life nor do I want to miss any opportunities to be a leading voice on the upcoming generations and the sport that I so admire in golf. With the understanding, I am only going to do this life on earth thing once, I am finding a world that embraces both and makes sure that the important things that really matter on our legacy and impact, remain top-of-mind. Unconditionally.

(We will address Leadership and Legacy later!)

I began understanding that even though there are many things that I would like to do and be involved in from a career perspective, my purpose could create a specific lane that could provide the best opportunity to impact others. And I would need to use all tools necessary including my experiences, education, family, lineage, and love for sports and mentorship. When I made the uncomfortable commitment to publicly proclaim this new vision and mission, it came with the understanding that a second life had begun. This amazing quote clarified the thought that it’s not a start to a second life as much as it is a realization that time on earth is not infinite. A significant source of anxiety that I had was an internal feeling that time was passing and I was doing nothing of any substance to a legacy. I had been a journeyman with no destination.

Those years of operating purposeless were not necessarily useless, though. The “walkabout” style journey simply was one of discovery and understanding. It gave me great knowledge about how to communicate and to understand that there is no safety from the negative consequences of risk. This increases one’s need to be accountable and intuitive.

I only have one life. I have enjoyed its many blessings, lessons and accomplishments. Injecting purpose was my awakening.

Dedicated to the recent voices of very successful people I have heard from that are reflecting on their life and are worrying that they are running out of time to impact their world and legacy. Those are the same people that are about to accept the power of this quote and are going find their purpose. I am excited to watch.